How Expensive are Children?

Before I had kids, I didn't really believe that they could cost a lot of money. After I had my son, I still didn't really believe it. After all, our grocery bill barely changed (because he was nursing). I used diapers, but I didn't buy the expensive ones, so that was the only major expense we had -- maybe 40 dollars a month. We were given just about everything else that we needed (or didn't need) at baby showers (yes... we had more than one... people were very excited).

Now that I have three children, and they are a little older, I see that they actually DO cost a lot of money. How much money, though, depends a lot on decisions that you make. For babies, you really don't need to buy anything. People give you just about everything you need (for clothes) at baby showers. If no one gives you a baby shower, baby clothes are dirt cheap at garage sales and there is an awesome selection at Goodwill. Babies will poop on or spit up on whatever they wear, so there's no need to spend money on new clothes. If you have a bassinet, it's handy, but otherwise just spring for a crib. The baby will only sleep in the bassinet for a few months.

Most importantly, nurse the baby. Formula is insanely expensive. The first month or so of nursing can be hard, but then it gets easy. It has the added benefit of helping the mom lose weight. (I think it's interesting that no one told me how hard nursing was before I had a baby. It was a total mystery to me. I had a baby, they handed it to me, and somehow I was supposed to figure out what to do. I understood the theory -- nipple goes in baby's mouth -- but putting that into practice took a little figuring out.)

Once kids get to school age, they get more expensive. They eat a lot more and they tend to be a little pickier about what they eat. My son won't touch stuff that he loved as a baby. I have pictures of him covered with lasagna, but now it freaks him out and he has to re-realize that he likes it every time I serve it. He used to scarf down beans and baby peas. Now? Ha!

Clothes are also a problem. The pickings are slim at Goodwill, and there are no 6-year old showers. Kids get toys for their birthdays and Christmas, which is the absolute last thing they need. School age clothes also are more expensive than baby clothes and tend to get really worn out (that's why I think there's not as much selection at thrift stores, particularly with boy's clothes.)

So.... what to do about the clothes? I almost never buy my kids new clothes. Not because I'm mean, but because I do this:

• Let people know you're open to used clothes. Then they will pass on their stuff to you.
• Pass on your old stuff to other people. Used clothes karma really pays off.
• If I see jeans in my son's size at Goodwill, I buy them. I have trouble finding jeans that fit (he's slim, so he needs slim jeans... try finding these that don't look like throwbacks from the 80s and have no holes.)
• Keep an eye out at garage sales and other thrift stores -- I won't go to a garage sale looking for kid clothes (because it's usually the wrong size), but if I pass by, I'll always take a look.
• I'm willing to buy used shoes. They have to look nice and they can't be too used. Kids DESTROY shoes, so I feel like this is alright. We went to a wedding and my son needed dress shoes, so I bought a pair for $3. They had probably been worn one other time.

I could make everything work even better if I made the kids change clothes when they come home from school. That way they would not need as many outfits, because the clothes really get destroyed from playing outside. I've been trying to do this, but need to work on it.

I think the main key is to be open to used clothes. There are a lot of kids' clothes getting passed around -- if you build up karma and are happy to receive, it's not too hard to clothe the kids economically.

Food, on the other hand..... can be a serious problem. These little people just KEEP eating! :)